This article was written by seansmyph, co-creator of our blog Splackavellie Central: Ridiculous Moments in R&B and Beyond. It’s part of a series of posts called “The Worst of MC Hammer,” which is part of a series called “Worst of the Best,” which probably doesn’t make much sense the first time you read [...]
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Please work your voodoo magic and make sure that this becomes the official poster for your adaptation of ‘For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf.’
I’m already worried about how the adaptation is going to turn out. At least give us something to look forward to [...]
Rember when Common was dating Erykah Badu and went completely boho batshit on everybody? When he was an electric soul flower or whatever the hell? Everybody blamed it on Erykah’s cosmic cooter. He got him a piece one night and he got up the next morning singin’ about psychic wires [...]
Slavery! F#ck yeah! Apparently, Ohio’s Miami University’s Alpha Xi Delta needed to throw a party and decided that the National Underground Railroad Freedom Center would be a bully place to do so. In a complete and utter twist of crazy, the Freedom Center agreed. Whether you went to college or [...]
I have had the most difficult time writing this article. It took me the whole of Confederate History Month (known also as April) to do. I figured it was just because I’m over-thinking, as I always do, bending far too often to the little internal editor who keeps reminding me that my language isn’t vivid enough, that I’m being repetitive, that my metaphors are corny and I should erase my last five lines and start over again. I was five pages of rambling notes and decapitated paragraphs in when I realized that I’m struggling so much because this is a story that I’m tired of telling. I’ve been trying to write it down since I graduated from college in 2004 and I am weary of the words. I screamed them vainly from my freshman year to my senior, and once I left the campus for good, diploma in hand, I decided I would just shut up about it for awhile. I was drained. Even now, six years later, it’s hard. This is Antwon Womack. Antwon ran for Birmingham, AL schoolboard last year. While campaigning, Antwon talked about graduating high school, college, and becoming a doctor. Antwon totally didn’t do any of that shit. I actually feel sort of bad laughing and shaking my head at this guy, but only because I’m pretty sure he’s [...]
I randomly thought about this song and video a few minutes ago and it made me so angry. I wanted to sit down and write about it, thoroughly and intelligently, but I get so mad when I try to that the only thing that comes out of my fingers is “OMG WTF WHY?!” The song is called “Herbal Tea,” written (presumably) and performed by a French artist named Maty Soul. According to her Myspace page, her music “deals with social and political realities.” It was shown to me by G.D. because he hates me wanted to get my opinion on it. It’s… bad. It’s just really bad. It’s like an orgy of boho cliches and mangled up vocal cords. If bad spoken word poetry made a movie, this is what it would look and sound like. More after the jump. 17 yr. old Biggie on Fulton St. in NY, via Talib Kweli via twitter. I was reminded of the ridiculous extraness of Steve Harvey’s suits today while workin on today’s post at SplackCent, which required me to google the phrase “Steve Harvey suit.” It’s quite a varied collection, with myriad colors and sizes to choose from. PLAID PRINCE
Available Colors: •Oh Lawd Lavendar Available Sizes: •I Remember When Ike Hit Tina Special Offer: Half off a pair of Gators in Righteous Robin’s Egg Blue.  I WILL BEAT THE SYSTEM IN ITS ASS. Meet Alabama’s Kim Malone, your sister in law. Not your sister-in-law, but your sister in law. Kinda like when that one lady at church calls you her sister in Christ. Make sense? Awesome. She’s here to give you straight legal talk when you need it most. See that slight “I will bust yo’ ass” squint she’s got to her eyes? That’s what you want in a lawyer. This lady means business. What you see is what you get. Straight, no chaser, If she buys the eggs, she’s makin’ the cake. And, according to the website, she also “(doesn’t) mind telling you when there is nothing left to do but PRAY!” Well, praise God and pass the writ of habeas corpus! More after the jump.
 DRINK THE TEA OR THE FUCKING BUNNY DIES. Every conversation I’ve overheard/overseen, either on or offline, about Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland (set to hit theatres March 5th) always ends up with a statement about how dark and gloomy and creepy he made it. Why did he have to do that? What’s his problem? Why can’t he just leave the classics alone? I have answers. First: he’s freaking Tim Burton. He’s weird. What did you think he’d do with it? Second: This isn’t even his fault! That damn story is trippy, freaky, and creepy all on its own. If you read and remember the original story, you know this. If you think that Walt Disney wrote the original story, you don’t know shit. That whole story is pretty nightmarish, when you think about it. Sure, there’s a cute fluffy bunny with a pocketwatch and a precocious little blond girl in an apron and cute little Mary Janes. But there’s also: Brought to you by the letters R, B, and G. Roosevelt Franklin was a member of the cast of Sesame Street in the early 1970s. The revolutionary character was believed to be African-American based on the way he spoke and his propensity to sing/dance/rhyme/scat in normal conversation. He was the founder of Roosevelt [...] Use this handy dandy flow chart to find out.
Hope that cleared things up!
Zack Taylor was the first African American Power Ranger and the only black fighter in the original founding five. A confident opponent, Zack also enjoyed playing sports and dancing, “especially to a fresh beat bumping out his homeboy’s boombox” (per Wikipedia). He enjoyed dancing so much, in fact, that he [...] Model is wearing 100% squirrel ass. This is dedicated to the 20-something I saw walking down the street in a fur coat and a pair of Converses two days ago. Why do people still wear these? Note: this has nothing to do with animal rights, though not killing animals to make fur coats [...] |
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