For Your Consideration: Ola Ray’s ‘Remember.’

ola-ray-thriller

Remember Ola Ray, the pretty brown girl from Michael Jackson’s crazy famous ‘Thriller’ video? Well, she’s not as brown anymore — and she’s apparently lost her damn mind.

Sigh.

Nope, that wasn’t nice. And with all that’s been going on in the world today — murder trials and voting rights and Nelson Mandela and all that jazz — what we need is kindness.

Let’s begin that now in discussing this Michael Jackson tribute video that Ola Ray made, entitled “Remember.” Let’s say as many nice things as we can about this video, okay? Okay.

Nice things about this bum-ass video:

  1. It’s wonderful that her vocal cords work. Thanks to cancer, there are many people in this world who can’t sing anymore. Like that lady in those “stop smoking” videos. Heartbreaking. She sounds like a cat being boiled alive, but cheers to Ola’s voicebox working. She’s lucky.
  2. Ola looks great! She also got her hands on a decent wig, which is more than we can say for some people, right Devyn from MTV’s Real World?
  3. The quality of iPhone videos is getting way impressive these days. A couple of times it almost looks like this vid was shot with an actual camera. Way to go, Apple!
  4. Just think of the money Ola saved on special effects makeup for her dancing zombie monster things! That left over Walmart face paint from Little Tommy’s Dracula costume a couple years ago did just fine.
  5. Ola Ray can’t dance. But do you know what I bet she can do? Hug. Ola Ray probably gives great hugs.

So, Ola, great job on not having throat cancer and maybe giving good hugs. You go, girl!

Brokey McPoverty

Brokey McPoverty, aka Tracy Clayton, is a writer and humorist from Louisville, KY. She currently writes for BuzzFeed and lives in Brooklyn. Follow her on Twitter.

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  • http://www.postbourgie.com G.D.

    This is so hard to watch. Why didn’t any of the apparently dozens of people involved in this pump the brakes at some point?

    *shudders*

  • http://twitter.com/finchfrii Crystal (@finchfrii)

    Why must she ratchetize my memories this way?!

  • kingdomcallsJohn

    I don’t want to remember now…