Cross-posted from Don’t Cross the Streams
Today marks ten months since I was laid off from my last job. In that time, I’ve had a lot of time to reflect and the conclusion I’ve reached is not having a job sucks. I never imagined it would take me this long to find a job. At first, you enjoy the free time and the ability to spend time doing things you would be too busy to do otherwise. As the months roll on, it begins to wear on you. I’ve been unemployed before but I was younger then and more optimistic. Being unemployed in your 30s, it feels like time is running out.
I’m sure everyone who is unemployed has their own reasons they hate it but these are mine:
- Applying for a job you are perfect for and not hearing back
- Applying for a job you are overqualified for and not hearing back
- Seeing listings for jobs you applied for months earlier
- Slowly lowering your starting salary expectations as you get more desperate
- Seeing “Help Wanted” jobs at retail stores and wondering how much more it would pay than unemployment
- Filling out the same information over and over again on online job applications
- Running out of jobs to apply for
- Going weeks without even getting a phone call about your resume
- Overly complicated online applications
- Accidentally losing all the information you’ve already filled out online and having to start over
- Writing cover letters
- Trying to find creative ways describe the mundane stuff you used to do in resume
- Changing from searching for “a job you want” to “a job you’d like” to “a job you’d be willing to do” to “any job” over the course of your unemployment
- Competing for jobs with college graduates
- Not having any connections to get you job hookups
- Not even being able to get freelance/temporary jobs
- Not getting the job because you are overqualified
- Going on a great interview and still not getting the job
- Going on a great interview and not even getting an e-mail telling you didn’t get the job
- Getting stumped by an interview question
- Knowing early in an interview that you are not going to get the job
- Thinking you did so well on an interview you already start thinking ahead to what it will be like to work there
- Feeling overdressed for an interview
- Being interviewed by someone who has no time to be doing an interview
- Realizing you’ve said something dumb during an interview
- Trying not to come off as desperate during an interview
- Being interviewed by someone who doesn’t seem interested in hiring you
- Preparing all day for an interview that last less than 30 minutes
- Overhearing other people interviewing for the same position as you
- When the person who you are supposed to be interviewing with is late
- When the person you are supposed to be interviewing with ends up not being in the office that day
- Being lonely during the hours of 9 AM to 5 PM
- Not saying a single word aloud until my wife comes home from work
- When all my East Coast friends sign off of GChat/AIM around 3 PM because they are leaving work to go home
- Not being able to have normal conversations with people because you’ve got nothing going on
- Not making new work friends
- Running into people you used to work with who still work where you got laid off
- Not being able to participate in an office March Madness pool
- Not being able to afford to spend money on anything unless it’s necessary like gas, food and rent
- Missing one of your best friend’s weddings because you can’t afford a ticket
- Getting e-mails everyday for sales you can’t enjoy
- Window shopping and/or “When I get a job, I’m going to buy this” shopping
- Not being able to save money
- How much money you get for unemployment in relation to how much you used to make
- Not being able to buy gifts for loved ones
- Wondering if you’ll ever make as much as you used to
- Wondering if you’re going to have to start over career-wise
- Black Friday/Cyber Monday
- Trying to get someone from the Unemployment Office on the phone when your payment doesn’t come through
- Hearing the disappointment in your parents’ voice every time they ask about your job search
- Freaking out because you don’t know what you’ll do when your unemployment runs out
- Trying to avoid injury or cavities because you don’t have insurance
- Questioning all the career choices you’ve made up to this point
- Being jealous of people’s LinkedIn updates
- Not having a reason to get dressed everyday
- Free office lunches
- A steady supply of milk, tea and coffee from your office
- A steady supply of Post-It notes and staples from your office
- Not realizing a holiday is coming up because you’ve lost track of the days, weeks and months
- Not letting yourself make travel plans because you don’t know if you’ll have a job by then and therefore won’t have the vacation days to do it
- Not being able to afford trips back home to visit family and friends
- Having to tell people you’re unemployed when they ask what you do for a living
- Being unproductive despite having all the time in the world
- Feeling bad about having an unproductive day
- Feeling like you don’t have the respect of your employed peers
- Running out of things to look at on the Internet by 1 PM
- Hating that the monthly unemployment data applies to you
- Feeling pitied and judged
- Laughing every time you hear that job numbers have improved in America
- Cabin fever
- Losing whole days to Netflix or bad television
- Not feeling encouraged by other people’s encouragements
- When people ask you how’s it going, trying not to tell them the absolute truth because no one really wants to hear that shit
- Getting sad when you don’t win the Lotto
- Trying to remain relatively positive in spite of it all because giving up isn’t an option (unless you win the Lotto of course)
Did I miss any?
76. Your fat jeans becoming your skinny jeans
77. Having your sleep schedule be based on what’s on TV
78. Lowering your standards for acceptable entertainment
79. Not wanting to login to your bank account because you’re scared of how little money will be there.
80. Over-thinking how to reply to people who show even the slightest interest in helping you. (This applies to in-person, over the phone, and via email.) It feels like you’re losing all of your ability to interact normally with fellow human beings.
I hear ya. On all of it.
Hang in there Sean. I was laid off a year and three months ago and have been working a shitty job (it does pay more than unemployment) for seven months while desperately searching for something in my field. And this list was spot on. I’m keeping you in my prayers. You’ll find something.
81. Feeling like your younger sibling is more of an adult than you are because s/he’s got a respectable job, a nice house, and two cars and you can’t even go our for a beer without worrying. (That’s a killer for me, even as somebody who is underemployed rather than unemployed.)
not daring to send this list on to to people you like for a laugh
82. Hearing the voicemails the credit card companies leave when you can’t pay the bill.
83. Holding out on laundry and only washing jammies to save costs.
83. Suffering through all of the above except without a spouse to support you.
84. Suffering through all of the above in spite of having a degree.
85. Watching your skills erode because you don’t have access to the tools you used at work and you can’t afford to buy them on your own.
I assume your all American, over in the UK its the exact same…
86. Having to ask your parents/siblings etc. for money to pay the rent.
87. Having to move back in with parents because you can’t pay the rent.
I’m somewhere between the two at the moment.
88. Sending numerous online applications for different jobs at one agency, only to be sent back the same template reply every time – not enough experience – despite having the experience they all ask for. Including on one when they forgot to delete the appropriate term on “Dead Sir/Madam”. And on one occasion I was turned down in 9 minutes.
89. Being told by a ‘careers advisor’ to take your degree off you CV as some employers might consider you a threat.
“Dear”, not “Dead”. Though somedays that is how you feel…
Saving up all of your responsibilities for the week for one day, so as to have at least one day of feeling like you accomplished something.
90. Wondering why you can’t create a Pixar like Steve Jobs when he “lost his job” or [insert any invention] here by [insert any multimill/billionaire here], and feeling completely and wholly inept and inadequate after coming to grips with the terms that you won’t, at least in the foreseeable future because a lack of resources will always stifle creativity.
91. Telling your friends you can do drinks (read: one drink) and not dinner, because you already have dinner plans (i.e. eating pasta for the 3rd straight day at home).
hang in there though. went through the unemployed (by choice)/underemployed (not necessarily by choice) period this past year. if you allow yourself to, you’ll learn more about yourself (and maybe even the world around you) than you ever will. also, you learn what you really need. which now that i’m fully and worthwhile-ly employed, i’m harnessing to save and not spend.
91. Being underemployed at an upscale grocery store, and unable to afford to shop where you work.
92. Eating only beans and rice for months on end.
93. Having no money at all for food, going to work hungry, and not qualifying for food stamps.
94. Being evicted every year for three years, because you fall behind on rent, and seeing the same judge every year.
95. Living in horrible neighborhoods, being burglarized while at your crappy job, and using the computer at the library to type this.
96. Having to really dig deep to get up enough will to get out of bed daily.
97. Having no phone, no television, no computer, and watching everyone on the bus play with their “I-Toys”.
98. Having to beg for change and praying no one you know sees you.