Blogging The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Episode 10: Off the Hook

glamma

How relieving to not have to open these recaps with talk of how boring Kim was in a particular episode.

This episode finds everyone recuperating after a group trip to Anguilla. It opens with Kandi reminding us that she’s got the most common sense of anyone in the cast as we’re shown Kandi’s happy little family–her new man, Todd, and her daughter, Riley. Kandi stresses that she’s happy with where she and Todd are, and though she would like to get married, she’s not about to go the Kenya route and pressure him into either proposing to her or leaving her. Smart woman.

Speaking of Kenya, we cut to she and her beautiful aunt Lori meeting up to dish on how things are going with she and Walter. Truthfully, I just can’t muster any sympathy for Kenya since we now know that she and Walter weren’t really together. This would typically be a really sad situation–girl meets boy, girl is ready to take things to another level, boy drags his feet and probably isn’t really that into girl. But now, every problem that Kenya is having with Walter can be answered with “but he’s not your man, though.”

Kenya: “When our relationship was new, he acted like I was his dream girl!”
Me: But he’s not your man, though.
Kenya: “I was naked in the shower and he didn’t want to touch me!”
Me: But he’s not your man, though.
Kenya: “I just don’t think that he’s ever going to propose to me.”
Me: HE’S NOT YOUR MAN.

While I am unmoved by this particular scenario as it pertains to Kenya, I do think there’s an important real-life lesson in there, one that I and many women can relate to–do not waste your time on a man who doesn’t want for your union the same things you do.

Kandi pops up again to display her sensibility when she goes shopping with Porsha, whose throw-it-in-the-bag-and-don’t-look-at-the-receipt method of shopping earned this look from Kandi:

kandiface

When Porsha says that she pretty much doesn’t believe in prenumps because “no one is bigger than the relationship.” Spoken like someone who married her money, rather than Kandi, who made hers.

And because every episode needs a little bit of Phaedra, we get a clip of her and her mother giving her son, Ayden, a bath. Twitter was kind of shocked to see that Phaedra gave him a little sippy cup full of sweet tea, and really, I think we all need to give her a break. She was probably just out of red Kool-Aid. Or pancake syrup.

Later, everyone gathers at Cynthia’s place for a little send-off for Nene. All the regulars are invited, including Kenya, who–for some reason–exclaims: “Everyday, somebody thinks I’m Beyonce!”

Everyone made these faces, respectively:

       

…Kenya gets mistaken for Beyonce about as often as I get mistaken for a blue giraffe. To provide some perspective, I’m a 5 ft 3 black human woman.

This looked to be a drama-free episode until Kenya and Walter’s fishing trip. What a metaphor, huh? After all the figurative fishing Kenya’s been doing this season, now they’re literally fishing. I see what you did there, producers. Walter shows up in a Gucci polo shirt and tennis shoes (known also as “sneakers”) that he doesn’t want to get dirty. He’s about as serious about this trip as he is about building a life with Kenya.

They soon slip into the “what’s going on with us?” conversation, and again, if I wasn’t convinced that the whole thing was a sham, I’d feel really bad for Kenya. I’d feel bad, but I’d also be kind of annoyed. She keeps begging for Walter to say how he feels about her when he’s been showing her loudly since he came into the picture. You can’t get blood from a stone. Take your syringe elsewhere, boo boo.

Next week, the fireworks return when Phaedra and Kenya butt heads over this donkey booty dvd. Fun times!

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Brokey McPoverty, aka Tracy Clayton, is a writer and humorist from Louisville, KY. You can find her writing at Uptown Magazine, ranting about hair at Natural Hair Problems, teaching the babies what The Man doesn’t want you to know at Little Known Black History Facts, and working endlessly to remind you that your favorite song probably sucks at Splackavellie Central. Oh, yeah. And on Twitter.

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3 comments to Blogging The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Episode 10: Off the Hook

  • say the relationship weren’t a sham, would you feel bad for kenya, really? honestly, i think the only way i’d feel bad is if they were actually engaged AND THEN walter acted the way he has so far. then it would make her ridiculous behavior of asking for a date (because if you’re engaged you should be planning a wedding date) and asking what kind of diamonds you’d want (because, designer bands). but they weren’t engaged, so the level of her talk needed to go waaaaaay down.

  • The Kenya-Walter story took a turn in Anguilla due to some crafty editing by Miss USA herself. This entire season leading up to Anguilla, it was clear to everyone AND Stevie Wonder that Walter was not that into Kenya. Sure she’s beautiful, single and beyond willing but she killed that relationship before it had a chance to grow. Sure, we’re only treated to a glance into their lives but out of all the footage we’ve seen, I don’t see many opportunities for Walter to actually ENJOY Kenya’s company in a setting that doesn’t involve her ring size, eloping, and the status of her ovaries. I believe he may have been interested in her (again, beautiful etc) but when she moved to ATL to pursue him for real, that interest may have deflated under her constant pressure.

    When they got to Anguilla, Walter made the key mistake of not saying “yes” but also not saying “no” to Kenya’s nudges about marriage. Either he’s a d*ckhead for that or he was trying to spare her. I know a number of dudes who, in the interest of keeping the kitty around, wouldn’t want to burst her bubble 100%. SMH. Anyway, Kenya’s spin on what happened in Anguilla has some of the other castmembers on the fence about whether Kenya’s the victim here or a willing participant in this relationship’s demise.

    Ultimately, I’m not feeling bad for her because she has herself to blame for stunting the relationship then remaining within it when it’s obviously going nowhere.

  • lwickedgirl

    I have to say I love Porsha. She is not as dingy as she looks. She actually is a housewife with a wealthy husband…with no prenuptial! Kenya is a cray-cray hot mess even if her relationship with Walter were real. I have to say his facial expressions were killing me when ever she would speak to him! He seemed like he was tying to be nice since she asked him to play her her interest but when the crazy train pulled into the station you could tell he was not ready to buy that first class ticket. Hell no he was not going to touch her. She looks so desperate she would poke a hole in the condom just for a story line.

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