Humpday Hate: Oh, Spoken Word.

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When I say I hate you… this is what I mean.

Well, first, let me clarify:  I hate bad spoken word.  The “I’m deep by sound and headwrap and ankh tattoo alone” spoken word.  The “as long as I say something about Africa, this is a good poem” spoken word.  The affected cadence.  The wildly unnecessary rap hands.  The circle jerking crowd that thinks itself cultured because it goes to open mics.  I hate it.  I abhor it.

That said, not ALL spoken word is bad spoken word.

But that said, like 98% of spoken word is completely horrible.  That includes what you’re about to listen to.

Some backstory:  So my life is kind of amazing.  There is some phenomenon at work here recently that finds my decidedly non-religious self in the midst of Christian functions.  It’s amazing!  I don’t know how it happens!  Not that I mind.  Me & Jesus are cool.   I just think it’s interesting that it happens so much lately.

Last Friday, I went to see my good buddy at a local open mic that included comedy, music, and poetry.  This particular performer—let’s simply refer to her as Bee—went last.  It was surreal.. she started off with a weird comedy set that included her squatting down in the middle of the room to demonstrate how babies are made (NOTE:  THIS IS AT A CHRISTIAN FUNCTION), then went into this bizarre spoken word piece about sex, cereal and candy bars (REMINDER:  STILL A CHRISTIAN SHOW) in which she randomly sings old R&B songs throughout.

My favorite part?  When the band gives her the “Wrap It Up, B” music at the end (I had to cut it off because she says her name at the end, but make no mistake—that band was NOT giving her backup.  They played gradually louder as she talked for another minute and a half at the end).  Listen below.

Bee Does Freaky Cereal Christian Spoken Word.

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Brokey McPoverty, aka Tracy Clayton, is a writer and humorist from Louisville, KY. You can find her writing at Uptown Magazine, ranting about hair at Natural Hair Problems, teaching the babies what The Man doesn’t want you to know at Little Known Black History Facts, and working endlessly to remind you that your favorite song probably sucks at Splackavellie Central. Oh, yeah. And on Twitter.

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