Today’s lesson: “I’m sorry you feel that way” is NOT an apology.
Okay. Hypothetical situation. Let’s say I hit you in your face with a 2 x 4. It hurts. You cry and ask for an apology. I say,”I’m sorry that hurt you.” What exactly am I apologizing for?
Essentially, I’m saying that I’m sorry that your face was hurt by that big ass piece of wood you were hit with as opposed to ‘I’m sorry that I hit you in the face with a big ass piece of wood.’ In that apology, I take no responsibility and admit no involvement in your face being hurt by a big ass piece of wood. In fact, I’m kind of blaming you for being hurt by it. Maybe you should try having fewer nerve endings in your face next time.
That’s pretty much what this dingleberry Jawn Murray did on the interwebs last week. Who is Jawn Murray, you ask? He’s (apparently) a writer for AOL’s Black Voices and some kind of contributor to the Tom Joyner Morning Show or something. Apparently he got his undies in a bunch because some people aren’t excited about Tyler Perry’s adaptation of ‘For Colored Girls’ (heaven forbid that all black people don’t fall to their knees and polish King Perry’s cock&balls with words of praise), and to express his angst, he turned to twitter and started talking sideways about black women, instructing their nappy asses to go get perms. And also, lives.
So, yeah. Lots of women, black women, with natural hair were pretty pissed at being verbally attacked (imagine that!). So what does he do? Well first he locks his Twitter page and hides like a real man. And then he decides to take to YouTube to ‘apologize.’ In the video, he claims that the comments were a joke that “fell flat.”
Remember that illustrative example from earlier? About being hit in the face with a big ass piece of wood? Let’s apply it here. Mr. Murray is essentially saying, ‘I’m sorry that your feelings were hurt by that joke I made,’ INSTEAD of saying ‘I’m sorry that I made a hurtful joke.’ (Let me also state that claiming that you were just playing around after you stick your foot in your mouth is soooooooo wack!). He took not one single, solitary iota of blame or responsibility for what he said. He didn’t acknowledge that what he said was wrong, or why it was wrong, or apologize for the actual words that were said. He’s only sorry that we took it the way we did.
Now I don’t give two shits about this dude. I didn’t know about his existence prior to today. I don’t care what he thinks about me, in particularly and personally, but it’s the principle of the matter here. I mean, goodness gracious, I’m soooo tired of the never ending ‘shit on a black woman’ holiday that seems to be lasting a little too long online. And to see it coming from other black people is just nauseating. Like damn, can I get a freaking break?? It’s bad enough I get my ass kicked by racism every day, but then I gotta come home to my own and STILL get it?
Remember Don Imus? It wasn’t alright when he did it. Nor should it be excused when a man of color does it.
AND ALL THIS OVER SOME DAMN TYLER PERRY!! If this is what TP fans are like, let me add that to my list of reasons to keep my fucking distance. Whatever people like Jawn Murray are repping, I want no part of it. This includes AOL’s BLACK Voices. Why am I gonna listen to some man writing about some black voices when he apparently doesn’t give a shit about half the black population? I’ll pass. (I told them so, too–you can do that same by contacting Tariq Muhammad of AOL Black Voices at firstname.lastname@example.org.)