Humpday Hate: The Worst Neo-Soul Song You Will Ever Hear. Ever.

I randomly thought about this song and video a few minutes ago and it made me so angry.  I wanted to sit down and write about it, thoroughly and intelligently, but I get so mad when I try to that the only thing that comes out of my fingers is “OMG WTF WHY?!”

The song is called “Herbal Tea,” written (presumably) and performed by a French artist named Maty Soul.  According to her Myspace page, her music “deals with social and political realities.”  It was shown to me by G.D. because he hates me wanted to get my opinion on it.  It’s… bad.  It’s just really bad.  It’s like an orgy of boho cliches and mangled up vocal cords.  If bad spoken word poetry made a movie, this is what it would look and sound like.

Since I can’t coherently write any commentary on this shit song, I will instead paste a few pieces of the conversation we had on it via GChat.

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How about a little group activity, hm?  Let’s name all the tired ass cliches we find in the video.  I’ll start us off:  super ethnic natural haired afroed black women.

If you’re a sadist and would like to hear more, check out “My Mind Went to the 70s.”  I haven’t listened to it because I can’t bear to, but I bet it goes something like:

“Oh, what’s with the world today/So much pain, my soul cries out/So heavy, my eyes can’t see/Why we can’t just sit and light some incense/Drink coconut milk/And rub sandalwood oil in our skin, I/Close my eyes and go back to a time when life was sweet like honeysuckle/And everything was peace and love and freedom and love and liberty and easy and cowry shells/Can you hear the drums/The Panthers understand my poetry/In the seventiiiiies.”

Or some such bullshit.

Go take a nap, Maty!

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Brokey McPoverty, aka Tracy Clayton, is a writer and humorist from Louisville, KY. You can find her writing at Uptown Magazine, ranting about hair at Natural Hair Problems, teaching the babies what The Man doesn’t want you to know at Little Known Black History Facts, and working endlessly to remind you that your favorite song probably sucks at Splackavellie Central. Oh, yeah. And on Twitter.

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21 comments to Humpday Hate: The Worst Neo-Soul Song You Will Ever Hear. Ever.

  • laura

    Found a blurb about her new album. This in particular caught my attention:
    “The first single “Herbal tea”…is very representative of the album’s sound.”
    Um…yeah.

    http://blogs.centrictv.com/music/subcentric/maty-soul-herbal-tea/

  • Ash

    “the panthers understand my poetry.”
    her last name happens to be soul.
    WHY!!!!?????
    this is hilarious.

  • “all I want is real emotions” lol “all I do is make my music with my feelings” lol…don’t wanna offend you by wearing red *black* and green, so I’ll rock this red *yellow* and green and ride my bike *while sipping tea* with natural haired sistas riding besid me. lol. her voice isn’t bad tho. “peace for us all” Maty. At the end of the day, it’s better than Beyonce & Gaga. I ain’t mad atcha. Funny azz post guys.

  • My cat just got up from her nap, came in here and YELLED at me for listening to this bull. LMAO.

  • Black friends – Check.
    Afro-Caribbean inspired accessories (head wrap, giant earrings, medallion) – Check.
    Bob Marley Tee – Check.
    Hipster Euro Cruiser Bike – Check.
    Track Jacket – Check.
    Black man with dreads – Check.

    Side note: Who drinks a mug of tea on a bike?
    Thanks for sharing this guys (not).

  • April

    I could only listen to a few seconds of it…this sounds awful, and she pronounces the “h” in “herbal.”

  • Of course, you know this post just got her song mad views/plays

  • @April, I think I was the most angry about her pronouncing “herbal” like that.

    That and the red, yellow and gold earrings. I was half expecting India.Aire to pull up alongside her with her guitar in one hand and a cup of herbal teeeeeaa in the other. And seriously, why was every Black person in the video that happy to see Ms. Soul riding around on her hipster bike? I see that all the time.

    This is some old bullsh*t, Illaldo!

  • Obehi Janice

    My stomach hurts.

  • LaJane Galt

    I’m about to throw my chai against the wall.

    adidas REDYELLOWGREEN afro REDYELLOWGREEN cruiser REDYELLOWGREEN that annoying hand motion head nod combo REDYELLOWGREEN black people running REDYELLOWGREEN

  • OMG, this would be hilarious if it didn’t sound like she had such trouble finding a pitch. She didn’t commit to ANY of the notes she sang.LOL. Like, “maybe I’ll just waver between sharp and flat the entire song”.

  • Imelda Marcos Lite

    I really thought it was Celine Dion’s Sasha Fierce. (shudders)

  • funkystarkitty50

    The song is pure comedy. I liked it because it made me laugh harder than I’ve laughed in a while. She has more key changes than the Tower of London, however, I kind of like her “Peace and Love I Love Black People” vibe.

  • marie

    Her name should be called “Maty Nooooo!” O_o I had to mute out that noise just to make it through the rest of the vid

  • Im french (la preuve que je parle francais!!!) and I have to admit that this song is a painful as it is cheesy… I mean, im not a music producer or anything… but the freaking sound quality of her voice is bad. Makes me ashamed of french music ideas… BUT, she is from France, and im from Quebec, Canada. Take that france.

  • At first I thought, there is no way. You’re making this up, there is no way those are real lyrics. This is like something out of Spinal Tap. If someone had written this as a parody I’d say it was comic genius, but I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry… your IM pretty much sums up my train of thought.

  • [...] you’ve been a frequenter of this site, or splackavellie central, or postbourgie, then you remember Maty Soul.  she’s the French “soul” warbler singer who gave [...]

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