Your Monday Random-Ass Roundup: No More About Nobel.

Heard this joke? I’m sure you haven’t. It’s really funny. Like, President Obama was recently nominated for a Country Music Award. Or the Heisman. Or a Pulitzer. Or a Source Award. Hell, so was I.

Trust me. This is all hilarious. Without even giving it much thought, anyone can be Leno these days. Comedy isn’t hard at all.

Here’s another one: what did the five fingers say to the face … ?

But enough with the funny. How about some random-assed, PostBourgie-approved reading material from the weekend?:

1. Happy Indigenous Peoples Day! (Shani-o)

2. Foreign Policy, on the military’s female units deployed in counterinsurgency efforts in Afghanistan: First, Afghans don’t seem to mind the female teams. Paradoxically, “Female Marines are extended the respect shown to men, but granted the access reserved for women,” the report finds. “In other words, the culture is more flexible than we’ve conditioned ourselves to think.” (Belleisa)

3. For much of the debate over health care reform, the insurance industry was saying all the right things. But now it seems ready to launch an all-out effort to defeat the Baucus bill, saying that it will cost the average policyholder an extra $4,000 a year. (G.D.)

4. Hoyden relates the tale of a breastfed 4-month-old infant in the 99th percentile of height and weight who is being denied health insurance because it’s obese.  There are no words. (Shani-o)

5. You can’t hear the music but, at this very moment, I’m playing the world’s smallest violin in honor of the very “tired and depressed” Roman Polanski. (Blackink)

6. From Broadsheet:  “Feminists for Choice alerts us to a new Oklahoma law (yes, law, not “proposed legislation” or “some kind of sick joke”) set to go into effect Nov. 1 that would collect detailed data about each abortion performed — and post it all on a public Web site.” (Belleisa)

7. Nearly a quarter of the planet’s population is now Muslim. (G.D.)

8. Alicia at Muslimah Media Watch questions those who question the veil. “Asking Muslim women why we choose to wear the hijab shifts the attention away from the asker’s insecurity of their own ideas of freedom and sexuality (if you’re comfortable with how everybody expresses their freedom and sexuality, how Muslim women dress should be the least of your worries).” (Shani-o)

9. Among many others, neither Andrew Sullivan nor Pam Spaulding were impressed with President Obama’s keynote address Saturday to the Human Rights Campaign, a gay civil rights advocacy group. About the only plus? His opening joke about Lady Gaga. (Blackink)

10. But in much more positive development, the Obama administration has stripped the notoriously xenophobic Maricopa County (Ariz.) Sheriff Joe Arpaio of some of his powers in enforcing federal immigration law. (Blackink)

11. With each passing day, it looks more and more like embattled Texas Gov. Rick Perry has tried to obstruct a state probe into an arson investigation that led the the execution of Cameron Todd Willingham. The Houston Chronicle also has a report showing that Perry received a five-page report from a noted expert questioning the evidence in Willingham’s case 88 minutes before the  execution. To quote a commenter, Perry seems to have no problem letting the facts get in the way of a body count. h/t Dog Canyon. (Blackink)

12. In the wake of Harry Connick Jr.’s righteous stand in Australia against a terrible tee-vee skit featuring blackface, Racialicious ponders the global race to be the “Least Racist Country.” (Blackink)

13. Even though Lonnie Jones was released from prison after serving more than five years for a murder he didn’t commit, the Brooklyn chapter of the Sex Money Murder Bloods still has a $20,000 contract on his head. (Blackink)

14. “Why Do More Women than Men Still Believe in God?” from DoubleX: “It’s hard not to compare women sticking with faith to wives confined to bad marriages: They’re so committed to the institution that they’ll willingly shrink under mistreatment just to maintain their own status quo.” (Belleisa)

15. The Daily Beast ranks Raleigh-Durham, N.C., the smartest city in the nation. (G.D.)

16. There are kosher elevators. I did not know this. And it is awesome. (Shani-o)

17. Matt Taibbi ponders some of the criticism directed at Michael Moore’s new movie, “Capitalism: A Love Story”: “…most of us Americans are much better at being movie and TV critics than we are at being political organizers.” (Blackink)

18. Bored with the look of the American dollar — it’s design hasn’t changed much since the 1920s —  a New York designer launched a contest to overhaul it. Here are some of the entries. (G.D.)

19. “Diary of an Escaped Sex Slave” from Marie Claire. (Belleisa)
20. Also via Marie Claire, Stoners for the “Sex and the City” crowd. (Belleisa)
21. Time explains how noted scholar and best-selling author Sarah Palin was able to write her memoirs so quickly. Surprisingly, crayons weren’t involved.
22. Sarah Silverman makes a pitch for curing world hunger, saving the world. Surely, the Pope would not be very happy with her or her potty mouth. (Blackink)

23. Alcohol ads work so well the British Medical Association thinks they should be banned. (Shani-o)

24. A water beetle. The five remaining numbers in a math problem. A junior hockey league team in Michigan. A treadmill on the International Space Station. Honestly, what’s left for Stephen Colbert to slap his name on?

25. A debate over black Barbies. (G.D.)

26. Yet another reason “The Cleveland Show” is damn near unwatchable: the shameful ridicule of the obese and disabled. Oh, who am I kidding? The show is unwatchable. (Blackink)

27. BET has a hip-hop awards show? (G.D.)

28. The head of the N.F.L. players’ union comes out against Rush Limbaugh’s attempt to purchase the St. Louis Rams. (G.D.)
29. Their franchise quarterback is rapidly becoming a bust of historic proportions. They suffered an embarrassing 37-point loss (and it wasn’t that close) to the Giants on Sunday. And their head coach could very soon face criminal charges for punching out one of his assistants. All in all, it must really suck to be a fan of the Oakland Raiders. (Blackink)
30. Known widely as the sportswriter who essentially ethered John Rocker, Jeff Pearlman is still waiting to hear back from his old foil: “Dumb-asses shouldn’t suffer for an eternity, should they?
Even John Rocker.” (Blackink)
As always, do whatever tickles your fancy in the comments. Even leave a link or two, if you’re so inclined.
Happy Monday.


Joel Anderson —blackink —  writes about sports, politics, crime, courts, and other issues far beyond his competence at BuzzFeed. He has worked at media outlets in Texas, Oklahoma, Louisiana and Atlanta and contributed to a number of publications, including The Root and The American Prospect, among many others.
  • The story of the 99th percentile baby reminds me of my brother. My mom breastfed him exclusively in the first few months (as she did with the rest of us). He gained a lot of weight very quick. I think he doubled his weight in the first few weeks.

    When my mom took hin in for checkups, the doctor asked why he’d gotten so big. My mom said all she was doing was nursing him. The doctor told her to stop that and start using formula or something.

    She was quite sad and spoke to my grandfather (her FIL) about the doctor’s advice. My grandpa was a Mexican folk healer of sorts (sobador, old school physical therapist). He was quite strict with my mom on what she could do/eat while she was nursing. He told her to ignore the doctor, and that my brother was healthy. She went with his advice and continued to nurse him.

    As my brother got older, he went from a fat baby to a normal/slightly chubby toddler and normal-weight kid.

  • I beg to differ on #15!


  • I thought formula fattened babies up more than breast feeding, on average…

  • ladyfresh

    thanks again!