Humpday Hate: Stop F#cking Listening to Steve Harvey.

This is my grown-up Christmas wish.

Apparently Steve Harvey and his mustache were so pleased with the reception of his first book on relationship success, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, that they’ve teamed up to write a second: Straight, No Chaser: How to Find, Keep, and Understand a Man.

Listen.  Steve Harvey is on his third marriage, but he’s writing books telling other people — women, expressly — how to make a relationship work?  Who told him he was qualified to teach women anything?  More important, why does he assume that it’s the women who need the teaching?  It must have been his ex-wives’ fault that his marriages didn’t work, huh?  And nothing at all to do with his mustache hairs clogging up the sink?  I am skeptical.

Here’s the thing.  Steve Harvey doesn’t give a shit about your relationships.  He just assumes that there are droves of women out there rolling their necks talking about how men ain’t shit and crying about all the good men being gone and he’s capitalizing on it.  Cha-ching!  Steve gets a nice little wad in his purple and red plaid double-breasted zoot suit pocket.

But I mean, in this recession I can only be so mad at somebody trying to get money.  I just think there are more decent ways for Steve Harvey to do this in the literary fashion, perhaps by writing books such as:

Just some thoughts.  You’re welcome to any of those, Steve Harvey.

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Brokey McPoverty, aka Tracy Clayton, is a writer and humorist from Louisville, KY. You can find her writing at Uptown Magazine, ranting about hair at Natural Hair Problems, teaching the babies what The Man doesn’t want you to know at Little Known Black History Facts, and working endlessly to remind you that your favorite song probably sucks at Splackavellie Central. Oh, yeah. And on Twitter.

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