This is my grown-up Christmas wish.
Apparently Steve Harvey and his mustache were so pleased with the reception of his first book on relationship success, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, that they’ve teamed up to write a second: Straight, No Chaser: How to Find, Keep, and Understand a Man.
Listen. Steve Harvey is on his third marriage, but he’s writing books telling other people — women, expressly — how to make a relationship work? Who told him he was qualified to teach women anything? More important, why does he assume that it’s the women who need the teaching? It must have been his ex-wives’ fault that his marriages didn’t work, huh? And nothing at all to do with his mustache hairs clogging up the sink? I am skeptical.
Here’s the thing. Steve Harvey doesn’t give a shit about your relationships. He just assumes that there are droves of women out there rolling their necks talking about how men ain’t shit and crying about all the good men being gone and he’s capitalizing on it. Cha-ching! Steve gets a nice little wad in his purple and red plaid double-breasted zoot suit pocket.
But I mean, in this recession I can only be so mad at somebody trying to get money. I just think there are more decent ways for Steve Harvey to do this in the literary fashion, perhaps by writing books such as:
- “You Like This Suit, Playa?! Your Guide to Dressing Like a Black Comedian“
- “”You Didn’t Gimmie Dat Awnsuh Cause Yo’ Mama Standin’ Right There??': My Life and Times as the Host of the Family Feud“
- “I Might Have Inverted Nipples, But I AM Somebody: How To Find the Confidence to Grease Yourself Up and Take Shirtless Pictures“
Just some thoughts. You’re welcome to any of those, Steve Harvey.