The Poet And The POTUS Share A Post-Coital Embrace Amidst A Post-Apocalyptic Hellscape, Your Cousin, 2014
Most art historians consider this the most exemplary piece in Your Cousin’s red period. Nonetheless, many feel that her other pieces — most notably Michelle Obama Rubbing Amiri Baraka’s Feet After An Asteroid Impact — are more technically sophisticated works. When asked about her inspiration for The Poet And POTUS, Your Cousin said that it was her interpretation of the death of Jet magazine.
The Scandal season finale is upon us! But it’s been a particularly rocky road to this end, right? There have been many musings on how Season 3 has been uneven and even suggestions on what could be done to salvage improve the series before it returns next fall. It’s good that we’re all engaging in this kind of postmortem right now. Scandal is in trouble. It’s as deep in trouble Sally Langston was at the end of last week’s ep.
G.D. and I planned to do a regular recap of the Season 3’s penultimate chapter, but time got away. We didn’t want to leave y’all hanging, though, so below are some raw notes on the state of the show.
Feel free to comment on anything specific you find here and also to make your predictions about the fates of your faves in the comments section.
We’ll be back with a season-ending recap in the week to come!
It’s hard to care about death and threat of death in the Scandal universe because none of the characters seem in any way real, relatable, or consistently drawn. The characterizations defy the rules of writing logic — but not in good or exciting ways.
Case in point: Joe Morton’s admission on Twitter that he’s booked a new show for fall suggests he’s definitely going to die here (unless he’s just messing with us? … He’s probably not, though). We’ve spent a season with him but we have very little sense of who he really was. Is he a monster and the devil and the life-suck that Jake and Huck (and Liv, up until like two episodes ago) insist he is — or is he who he says he is: someone who “became the bad guy” because the job required it? Do his motives matter if we’re not going to see him anymore? Did he redeem his relationship with Liv *at all?* Do we care about that?
In ABC’s long-defunct Alias (from which Scandal seems to be heavily borrowing its Pope Parents plot), the writers constantly toyed with whether or not we should root for the main character’s mother or father — both both characters were so richly drawn over such a long period of time, that toying made sense. They also had palpable chemistry, loved each other, hated each other, had love-hate sex. There was a whole other show embedded in their scenes.
We get none of that with Rowan and Maya. Everything is revealed through expository dialogue — and usually much later than it should be. Suddenly, as of last episode, Maya had a lover Liv’s whole life? Liv magically remembers her mother loving that guy? And now that guy’s dead after about three scenes? Really? Liv’s mother’s scenes reveal too little of her personality when she’s not in terror mode. Who is the woman? How’d she get to be treacherous? Does she have an endgame?
If she dies, will any of us miss her? Will Liv, who’s never shared enough screen time or one-on-one conversation with her, to know what the past 20 years of her life have wrought?
Are the black characters more thinly drawn (drawn thinner?) than the others? Harrison, Liv, her parents, the Senator dude? It seems that way to me, but maybe no one is all that well-developed? Huck, Mellie, and the Prez were. Quinn got a pretty significant backstory btwn seasons 1 and 2.
I don’t think there’s anything particularly wrong with a soap that relies heavily on the cliffhanger. But if a show does, the cliffhangers have to reliably deliver. These can’t because of characterization and how little we can care about people the writers can’t be bothered to pen consistently. Huck has lost all the qualities with which we empathized; Quinn never really had any. They waited until after he tortured her to hook them up and now we’re supposed to root for their hot and heavy extended scenes? When neither of them at all resemble the people we recognized from the first two seasons?
I said of last week’s episode that Jake is the most consistent character. He came in a creep/stalker (with a heart of gold); he’s still one.
Season 3 has been really odd.
Ok. Your turn. Vent, cheer, tell us what you expect to see in tonight’s finale.
So we’ve been slacking on our recaps, but we’re back on it tomorrow. In the interim, here’s Kid Fury giving voice to the feeling that so many of us have been harboring for the last season and a half. Namely: WTF, Liv?
(Oh, yeah. If your job isn’t the type of place amenable to F-bombs, wait ’til later.)
Are you a young lady whose entire family has been butchered at the orders of the sociopathic little goon you’re about to marry?
Or maybe you’re the last surviving member of some once-noble-but-incredibly-tacky aristocratic clan and, like, you’ve found out that you’re basically the only person who has any control over the last dragons in the world? (And you have some weird white savior shit going on to, but I digress.)
Oh, you’re neither? That’s okay. Mundane stresses are still stresses. So why don’t you pour some tea, grab a book and sit here by the fire? Winter is coming, baby, so why don’t we get cozy and unwind? Oooh, yeah.
What’s that? You say you’re only romantically interested in your brother, the arrogant one-handed knight? That’s cool, that’s cool. We can just have this moment.
We were delinquent in putting up the recap for last week’s Scandal recap. Or, um…I guess I should say I was delinquent in doing so. )That’s my bust, homie.)
So here are some random observations from last week’s episode — just in time for this week’s episode!
Last week’s big reveal was that Mama Pope was the one who sent Adnan to hit Harrison up for info1 and strongarm Cyrus. I’d almost forgotten about her! She’s a terrorist , but I don’t think we’ve ever been told about her motivations. Whatever she’s cooking up, it’s going to be more complicated than it needs to be. I say that both because this is Scandal, but also because when they cut to her, she was bathed in a green light a Batman villain. When this storyline wraps up, we’re definitely going to be like “wouldn’t it have been easier to shoot her?”
When I say more complicated than it needs to be, I mean moments like Abby “kidnapping” Will Bailey before Superman’s Voice could assassinate him on Cyrus’ orders.
“I should have said last night…I love you,” Rosen muttered
“You better,” Abby said. “I just saved your life.”
She couldn’t have rolled up to him and stage-whispered, “Bae— it’s a trap! Get in the car!” Was all that really necessary?I’ve been trying to come up with a list of things that have to happen in every episode of Scandal. One of them was an Olitz fight that veers violently from declarations that they’re tedious, on-again, off-again affair is over…to a “romantic” monologue by Fitz that he needs Liv. She gives a token protest, then he walks over to her and she’s all No! No! Don’t you do that! Not this time!In this episode, the writers were gracious enough to get this out of the way in the first scene.
So Mellie kissed ol’ boy, finally. They were in the room where the pictures of the First Ladies hung, and you were snarking about the weird camera work in that scene, and those bananas jump cuts to the portraits of Eleanor Roosevelt and Jackie Kennedy…who seemed to be side-eyeing Mellie’s adultery!But I wonder if those weren’t side-eyes of approval. For your consideration: FDR almost divorced Eleanor to be with his mistress, but he knew that a divorce would hurt his political career. John F. Kennedy banged everything that moved, if the stories are to be believed. Maybe those vaguely sentient portraits were on some Get it! in solidarity with one of their sorority finally lending herself a side-piece. Just a thought.
And speaking of Mellie, last week you tweeted this:
It would seem that Mellie has quietly become the closest thing we have to a protag on this show. #Scandal
I think this is right, but it also gets to something that’s been sort of gnawing at me for a bit. So much of this show’s popularity among black women — who, let’s face it, are the engine of its success — is because it’s ostensibly centered on this complicated, stunning black woman at its center (to say nothing of the savvy black woman who’s helming the ship). So isn’t it sort of odd that the show’s secret hero, its most fleshed-out and sympathetic character, is the white woman who’s that aforementioned black woman’s romantic rival? They’ve spent this season fleshing out Mellie while both Liv and Fitz have been reduced to sulking and shouting, with few gradations in-between.
And now that I have more than 140 characters to flesh that sentiment out, I think that either by way of Kerry’s acting choices or due to the writers’ choices in characterizing Liv, this show as gotten away from its lead… and been delivered to Mellie (and by extension, Bellamy Young) — who was only supposed to be a recurring guest star or something at first, right?!
Now we’re rooting for her adultery and her White House jump-off.
But since we’re on that…
Andrew is as disconcerting a choice of partner as Fitz if, in the wake of Mellie telling him the whole story of her rape at the hands of her father-in-law, he’d come at her on some, “I missed you,” trying to get some kind of extramarital party started with her. Dude is tryna kiss the same mouth he was fishing an overdose of pills out of weeks earlier. How about if he’s really feeling her, he makes sure he’s whole before he starts horning in on her?
That leads us back to the kiss thing with the First Ladies. If those were side-eyes of approval, I’m as on board as Eleanor an’ ‘em about Mellie and Andrew. Enough time has passed for Mellie to have rebuilt or steeled or healed herself following the assault. And she’s finally ready to give up on the possibility that Fitz still has it in him to be a decent husband (but probably not ready to give up the proximity to power her position as his wife affords her). So mack on, Mellie. Get yours.
I can’t call it with Harrison, Adnan, or Khandi Alexander.
But I’ve long-observed that action-suspense dramas on ABC follow a pattern of duplicitous parents (especially mothers). Lots of espionage and double-agency. In contemporary series, this was most notable in the once-great Alias. It also happened in Revenge (which peaked in the first half of its first season). We rallied for Liv to have a personal life backstory, but what we got was wacky black ops shenanigans from her murderous, not-so-fast-they’re-just-protecting-Liv-or-someone! parents. If this were the first time this network had gone to that well, I might be interested in it. But what I really would’ve preferred were just some scenes with normal people Liv once knew before her life got so insane. One of the great things about Alias, early on, was that its protagonist, Sydney Bristow, had a couple of friends who provided her an outlet of normalcy, people with whom she didn’t have to stage-whisper about assassinations and natural security. Liv needs a Will and Francie.
The closest things she has are Jake and Huck. That doesn’t work because they’re all under the thumb of the same secret top security evil government agency. Or whatever.
I have to talk about Huck’s weird victim-blaming/blame-shifting/coffee-bringing thing last week, in which he refers to himself as Liv’s pet monster. She’s freezing him out because he tortured Quinn (and speaking of things that could’ve been handled easier: what was that even about? We still haven’t figured out why he felt it necessary to pull her tooth and lick her when she was fine with cooperating, right?). He can’t blame Liv for his psychotic break. All she did was try to restore some humanity to his depraved life to which he’d been reduced. He’s got to own his decisions in this, because he’s steady making them. And they’re all bad. He ain’t so far gone he don’t know how to come home (with coffee), so he needs to come with some better than, “This is what you made me,” if he wants back into the inner circle of the firm.
Sally’s subplot continues to be a snoozer. I want her to confess to the murder tonight so they can write her off or something.
Finally, I loved that Jake’s inside man in the Secret Service gave him that tape where Liv confesses that she “doesn’t know” if she has feelings for him. She does. Because when Jake disagrees with her, he doesn’t feel the need to shout her down. And sometimes, when he disrobes, it’s just to shower, not to force her into some tryst over her cries of “No! Stop! Not this time!”
We gotta go get ready for tonight’s antics! Thanks to everyone for rockin’ with us, late-pass and all.
I wrote down this speech that I had no time to practice so this will be the practicing session. Thank you Alfre, for such an amazing, amazing introduction and celebration of my work. And thank you very much for inviting me to be a part of such an extraordinary community. I am surrounded by people who have inspired me, women in particular whose presence on screen made me feel a little more seen and heard and understood. That it is ESSENCE that holds this event celebrating our professional gains of the year is significant, a beauty magazine that recognizes the beauty that we not just possess but also produce.
I want to take this opportunity to talk about beauty, black beauty, dark beauty. I received a letter from a girl and I’d like to share just a small part of it with you: “Dear Lupita,” it reads, “I think you’re really lucky to be this black but yet this successful in Hollywood overnight. I was just about to buy Dencia’s Whitenicious cream to lighten my skin when you appeared on the world map and saved me.”
My heart bled a little when I read those words, I could never have guessed that my first job out of school would be so powerful in and of itself and that it would propel me to be such an image of hope in the same way that the women of The Color Purple were to me.
I remember a time when I too felt unbeautiful. I put on the TV and only saw pale skin, I got teased and taunted about my night-shaded skin. And my one prayer to God, the miracle worker, was that I would wake up lighter-skinned. The morning would come and I would be so excited about seeing my new skin that I would refuse to look down at myself until I was in front of a mirror because I wanted to see my fair face first. And every day I experienced the same disappointment of being just as dark as I was the day before. I tried to negotiate with God, I told him I would stop stealing sugar cubes at night if he gave me what I wanted, I would listen to my mother’s every word and never lose my school sweater again if he just made me a little lighter. But I guess God was unimpressed with my bargaining chips because He never listened.
And when I was a teenager my self-hate grew worse, as you can imagine happens with adolescence. My mother reminded me often that she thought that I was beautiful but that was no conservation, she’s my mother, of course she’s supposed to think I am beautiful. And then … Alek Wek. A celebrated model, she was dark as night, she was on all of the runways and in every magazine and everyone was talking about how beautiful she was. Even Oprah called her beautiful and that made it a fact. I couldn’t believe that people were embracing a woman who looked so much like me, as beautiful. My complexion had always been an obstacle to overcome and all of a sudden Oprah was telling me it wasn’t. It was perplexing and I wanted to reject it because I had begun to enjoy the seduction of inadequacy. But a flower couldn’t help but bloom inside of me, when I saw Alek I inadvertently saw a reflection of myself that I could not deny. Now, I had a spring in my step because I felt more seen, more appreciated by the far away gatekeepers of beauty. But around me, the preference for my skin prevailed, to the courters that I thought mattered I was still unbeautiful. And my mother again would say to me you can’t eat beauty, it doesn’t feed you and these words plagued and bothered me; I didn’t really understand them until finally I realized that beauty was not a thing that I could acquire or consume, it was something that I just had to be.
And what my mother meant when she said you can’t eat beauty was that you can’t rely on how you look to sustain you. What is fundamentally beautiful is compassion for yourself and for those around you. That kind of beauty enflames the heart and enchants the soul. It is what got Patsey in so much trouble with her master, but it is also what has kept her story alive to this day. We remember the beauty of her spirit even after the beauty of her body has faded away.
And so I hope that my presence on your screens and in the magazines may lead you, young girl, on a similar journey. That you will feel the validation of your external beauty but also get to the deeper business of being beautiful inside.
A few weeks ago, I burned through the whole first season of House of Cards as well as a few eps of the latest one. The entire time, I couldn’t help but be reminded of our friends in Scandal-land. Both set in a Washington full of murderous elected officials. Their respective main characters are cynical narcissists. And both Frank and Olivia are orbited by people who are almost implausibly, contemptibly stupid. (I’m talking about Cards’ Lucas and Scandal’s Quinn here. Ugh.) Scandal, though, manages to be as fun as House of Cards while being infinitely less self-important.
When we first started recapping this show during Season 2, I’d never seen an episode. But now, I feel like I know all of its tricks. Liv has to vet Andrew Nichols, Fitz’s former lieutenant governor in California and his pick to replace Sally as veep. As soon as Nichols tells Liv that the reason he never married was because he lost the one great love in his life, I muttered to my friends at my crib that that great lost love was Mellie. Scandal isn’t the kind of show that busies itself with writing in random characters details, so if the writers were sharing this tidbit about ol’ boy, it was because the One Who Got Away was someone we already knew. And since Scandal will always err on the side of DAAAAAAAAAMN!, it had to be Mellie.
Can we talk about Mellie for a hot second? She’s been my favorite character since I started watching; she’s the show’s true tragic figure. She loved (loves?) and believed in Fitz, and she’s endured horrible traumas and kept them quiet in order to make his political career possible. And what does she get for all that? Fitz cheating on her and throwing it in her face, even as Mellie herself tries to cover up the affair that (again) threatens to bring down his presidency that she effectively made possible. It’s remarkable to me that so many people hate Mellie on a show in which she’s surrounded by a literal murderers’ row of venality. (It would be easier at this point to count the people on Scandal who haven’t caught a body at this point.) So yeah. That scene with Mellie and Liv in the restaurant during which Mellie hurled all kinds of darts at an increasingly whiny, annoying Liv, was gold. Mellie is taking it into her own hands to quiet the resurfacing chatter about Liv and Fitz’s affair, and so she decides that the best way to do that is by presenting a public image of a Mellie/Liv friendship. But the whole scene is Mellie gleefully dagger-twisting.
“I’m making a respectable woman out of you, Olivia,” she says to Liv. “My husband could never sleep with you if we’re friends.”
This shit right here is why I’m Team Mellie.
Mellie then hands Liv a list of dudes she’s allowed to date to help throw the public off Olitz’s scent. Liv’s only retort is #lipquiver, because it’s becoming increasingly obvious than Liv is deeply ungully. (I sorta wonder if Liv could retort, though. She doesn’t have any moral high ground in their little dyad; wouldn’t anything Liv say back just underline the callousness of what she and Fitz are doing to Mellie?)
The disaster of Olitz is underscored again when Papa Pope — chilling on a random bench because that’s what gangsters do — hips Olivia to the fact that he’s going to use her to bring down Fitz’s presidency.
At this point, I half-expect fire and operatic music to play behind The Brother From Another Planet whenever he launches into one of his monologues, a la Al Pacino in The Devil’s Advocate. To say Joe Morton chews scenery suggests something more subtle than what Joe Morton actually does in these scenes. That motherfucker is Godzilla, stomping on everything and then roaring bellicosely.
James is surreptitiously feeding info about the shadiness of Sallie’s husband’s death to a reporter — and David Cohen — in order to get back at Cyrus, which reminds us that Liv and Fitz might not have the most fucked-up relationship on this show.
And there’s the Quinn storyline, which I could care less about. She’s kidnapping children now, which makes her pointless AND evil, while Harrison is now screwing some woman who is his supposed enemy. It’s taken him 2.5 seasons to get even this sliver of character shading or a B-plot, so you take what you can get, I guess.
Notes on a Scandal
At first I couldn’t place Nazanin Boniandi, the (fine-ass) actress who played Adnan Salif, but IMDB shows us that she most recently played the headscarf-wearing CIA analyst Fara Sherazi on Homeland. (Speaking of ridiculous, self-important shows…)
I guess Quinn’s mouth is all better now after Huck tortured her by yanking her teeth out? This explains why this show’s insane plot twists continue to have diminishing returns: they’re totally forgotten by the next episode, and sometimes by the next scene.
I chuckled at Abby’s “we’re-the-normal-ones-here!” rant to Harrison:“If you need to borrow my gun, all you have to do is ask.”
It’s so hard being the rich, handsome president! Waaaah. Yo, Seriously: fuck Fitz.
Liv definitely has no moral high ground here — although I saw a lot of viewers rallying behind her last night, as the Mellie-got-a-side-piece-too! reveal popped off. Olitz fans were all too willing to label Mellie a hypocrite for calling Liv so many homewreckers and whores over the years. But there are no neat corollaries in this love triangle, are there? Do we know yet if Mellie and Andrew’s affair was pre- or post-Mellie’s marriage? And if it’s rekindled now (and it totally will be), can anyone blame Mellie for gettin’ it in with fine-ass Jon Tenney? No. No, they cannot. She has suffered far greater indignities than Liv has in service to an ungrateful, unfaithful spouse who — it can’t be said enough — she loves.
We know without a doubt now that Mellie formerly and currently loves Fitz and isn’t just keeping up appearances by remaining married to him. This is a sticking point for me because this show’s initial conceit was to sell us on the idea that Mellie was a heartless political climber using Fitz for his power. Now that we know how desperately she desires him and how many attempts she’s made to woo him back — not in power plays, but in hopes of reprising a once-happy marriage — it makes Olitz even grosser and Liv, by extension, more difficult to root for.
Enough about Mellie. I actually don’t have any favorites on this show right now — not a single one — so while I’m glad to see Mellie finally be desired by someone who (as far as we know) isn’t out to violate or manipulate her, we have a ton of other stuff to discuss after this long hiatus, right?
Before we go further, I have to say that I’m not a House of Cards viewer, but it was fascinating to see how much Twitter commentary crossover there was between the two series last night. A lot of “Frank Underwood wouldn’t stand for this!” whenever Fitz was onscreen. Is the handling of politics and, well, scandal, on House of Cards heightening folks’ notice of Scandal’s glaring flaws? (I certainly wouldn’t doubt it.)
In other news, Harrison finally gets a storyline (complete with shirtless lovin’!). I’d always figured Adnan was a dude. (I know. I don’t know what show I thought I was watching.) Depending on what their backstory is, it’s starting to make sense that he hasn’t been in a serious relationship since the show’s inception. This woman seems to have serious dirt on him and access to his heartstrings. No moving on for him. (Although I still think he and Abby are endgame.)
So James is finally, finally sick of Cyrus’ shit and ready to pack his raggedy duffel bag, the daughter Cyrus boasted about “buying” him, and what’s left of his scruples and go. Let’s see how long that lasts.
The last thing I want to discuss tonight is the scene between Eli/Rowan Pope and Liv. Is it me or did he totally slut-shame her? He chastises her for letting Fitz “defile” her and basically says that his losing his position with B613 and her mother’s escape from custody are all owing to the fact that she can’t stop herself from sleeping with him. It’s pretty despicable — especially since she only sought him out to extend empathy for his losing his job to Jake.
I have personal reasons for why I have such low tolerance for the belligerent, disarming way Papa Pope addresses Liv on a regular basis, so maybe I’m reading too much into that. (I actually had a couple people defend his behavior in that scene to me last night, so who knows?) Either way, Joe Morton was a casting coup for this series. Sometimes, you need your scenery masticated — and who better than this dude? Now we know how Liv got her growly, loud lean-forward schtick.
Notes on a Scandal
I wonder how long Jake is gonna last as head of B613. His relationship with Liv is getting more interesting to me, since he knows as much (if not more) about her, her mother, Fitz and their sordid history than anyone else. Liv is ruined for “normal relationships,” but she could probably work with Jake, if she were so inclined.
There was minimal Huck in this episode but I wasn’t mad at it. Huck seems to only be used now when he’s torturing someone — and that’s exhausting.
Sally’s subplot is really boring to me, as is her imminent ouster as VP. But if readers want to weigh in on that or anything else here, have at it!