Meet Alabama’s Kim Malone, your sister in law.  Not your sister-in-law, but your sister in law.  Kinda like when that one lady at church calls you her sister in Christ.  Make sense?  Awesome.

She’s here to give you straight legal talk when you need it most.  See that slight “I will bust yo’ ass” squint she’s got to her eyes?  That’s what you want in a lawyer.  This lady means business.  What you see is what you get.  Straight, no chaser,  If she buys the eggs, she’s makin’ the cake.   And, according to the website, she also “(doesn’t) mind telling you when there is nothing left to do but PRAY!”  Well, praise God and pass the writ of habeas corpus!

Sister Malone provides a variety of online services ranging from simple wills to child support consultation and the commentary she gives on each is fantastic.

On:  Simple Wills:

If you see your family fighting over YOUR stuff now while you are living, just imagine what they will do when you are gone.

On:  Power of Attourney:

The person you appoint as Power of Attorney should be someone that you can TRUST and not just somebody you love.  Don’t choose a person who is stealing out of your purse for this position.

On:  Uncontested Divorce:

Let me tell you what I mean by ucontested divorce.  It means he may have another woman.  She may have another man or is looking or one.  But neither of you care that the other has moved on.  It means that the stuff that you bought together has already been divided.  For example, she has the couch and other stuff she wanted and he has the Bowflex and other stuff he wanted and you both already have it in your possession, meaning you can look at it right now if you wanted to beacuse it is at your place or your momma’s house.

Straight from the page, family.

No word on if she’s related to the Mo Money Taxes people or not yet.  Or if she was the inspiration for this.

(Thanks to wcweaver for hipping us to this.)

Brokey McPoverty

Brokey McPoverty, aka Tracy Clayton, is a writer and humorist from Louisville, KY. She currently writes for BuzzFeed and lives in Brooklyn. Follow her on Twitter.

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  • A less than careful reading of this post led me to believe that Kim Malone was being brought on as a new PostBourgie contributor.

    I’m a little less excited now that my initial take was incorrect.

  • THIS is why I went to law school! I wonder if she’d sue me if I ended every email with

    Sincerely yo sista in law,
    Kia, JD

  • R.A.B.

    She’s still PB’s sista in law.

  • I’m kinda not mad @ this; she’s going after a market that probably gets overlooked.

    (I love how everybody is trifling in her pitch, tho.)

    • right, it does seem like she knows what she’s talkin about. and im sure somebody was at home readin this like ‘oh okay, so my george foreman grill is at Poochie ‘nem house and Bubba don’t even care. this must be an uncontested divorce, then.’

  • nah’mean? you gotta cross them t’s and dot them i’s.