This is dedicated to the 20-something I saw walking down the street in a fur coat and a pair of Converses two days ago. Why do people still wear these?
Note: this has nothing to do with animal rights, though not killing animals to make fur coats is an added bonus. (Except squirrels. Nobody needs squirrels. It’s too bad people don’t wear squirrel fur coats). It has everything to do with poor fashion decisions and perceived self-importance. Wearing a full fur coat is only acceptable if you are one or any combination of the following:
- A caveman
- An ice fisherman and/or live in an igloo
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
If you are no part of the three, you just look foolish. Full fur coats are rarely attractive and scream “Beverly Hillbilly.” Well, wheeeee-doggies! We gots money now! What does folk with money do to let other folk know they got money? Fur coats! Hyuck hyuck hyuck! * These days, it’s something you wear to let people know that you can afford such a ridiculous luxury.
And if it’s faux fur? Even douchier! If you’re not wearing a fur coat because it’s made of fur, you’re wearing it because you like the style (which makes you tasteless) or because you want to look like you’re wearing a real fur in order to let people know about the (pretend) party in your bank account.
Whatever the case, wack. Unless it’s squirrel fur. (Down with squirrels!)
*This is apparently how hilbillies laugh.