Humpday Hate: Fur Coats.

Model is wearing 100% squirrel ass.

This is dedicated to the 20-something I saw walking down the street in a fur coat and a pair of Converses two days ago.  Why do people still wear these?

Note:  this has nothing to do with animal rights, though not killing animals to make fur coats is an added bonus. (Except squirrels. Nobody needs squirrels.  It’s too bad people don’t wear squirrel fur coats).  It has everything to do with poor fashion decisions and perceived self-importance.  Wearing a full fur coat is only acceptable if you are one or any combination of the following:

If you are no part of the three, you just look foolish.  Full fur coats are rarely attractive and scream “Beverly Hillbilly.”  Well, wheeeee-doggies!  We gots money now!  What does folk with money do to let other folk know they got money?  Fur coats!  Hyuck hyuck hyuck! * These days, it’s something you wear to let people know that you can afford such a ridiculous luxury.

And if it’s faux fur?  Even douchier!  If you’re not wearing a fur coat because it’s made of fur, you’re wearing it because you like the style (which makes you tasteless) or because you want to look like you’re wearing a real fur in order to let people know about the (pretend) party in your bank account.

Whatever the case, wack.  Unless it’s squirrel fur. (Down with squirrels!)

*This is apparently how hilbillies laugh.

Brokey McPoverty

Brokey McPoverty, aka Tracy Clayton, is a writer and humorist from Louisville, KY. She currently writes for BuzzFeed and lives in Brooklyn. Follow her on Twitter.

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  • aisha

    I really wish I had a picture of Carl Thomas in the cat fur coat in Ishkabibbles. It would have been perfect.

    • this didn’t actually happen, did it?

      • aisha

        Yes, a friend described it as “cat fur” because it looked so ratty. We were watching news about the space shuttle Columbia disaster he walks in trying to impress us with his cellphones with color screens.

  • Hilarious!

  • Ash

    I guess they just make people feel important. A few years ago I went to see a Broadway play and Star Jones showed up in the audience in a fur coat. This was in the spring and it was like 70 degrees. Self-importance had to be at least part of the reason for this, because it definitely wasn’t the weather.

  • michaelTO61

    I sort of agree with you about fur. My feelings are that
    fur should only be worn by

    Russians and
    Raymond St. Jacques. He could rock the skins.

  • Pimpin’ ain’t easy – quit hatin’!

  • I don’t care what people think, fur is WARM. I wore it in Canadia. So there.

    Of course, if you’re not somewhere near the arctic or antarctic circle, it’s just kinda dumb and cruel.