'We Are All Just A Bunch of Lonely Haters.'

Latoya from Racialicious joins Megan at Jezebel to discuss disparities in the visual coverage of fatalities and an op-ed from Charles Blow, who generalizes his way into an interesting conclusion:

Marriage can be a sore subject for black women in general. According to 2007 Census Bureau data, black women are the least likely of all women to be married and the most likely to be divorced. Women who can’t find a man to marry might not be thrilled about the idea of men marrying each other.

Proponents of gay marriage would do well to focus on these women if they want to win black votes. A major reason is that black women vote at a higher rate than black men. In the CNN national exit poll, there were 40 percent more black women than black men, and in California there were 50 percent more. But gay marriage advocates need to hone their strategy to reach them.

Megan and Latoya:

LATOYA: Hahahahahaha. I was just going to mention that. Yup, we are all just a bunch of lonely haters.

MEGAN: As an unmarried woman, although not black, I just want to say: I don’t want to marry a gay man, thanks.

LATOYA: Teh gayz took all teh menz, so we took our revenge at the ballot box.

MEGAN: What, your mom didn’t tell you to get a man you need to have a penis? Even a fake one? My mom got me one for my Sweet Sixteen so I could get me a husband.

LATOYA: Though, I must admit — after all the prop 8 madness, I was more amused than angered at his conclusions.

“First, comparing the struggles of legalizing interracial marriage with those to legalize gay marriage is a bad idea. Many black women do not seem to be big fans of interracial marriage either. They’re the least likely of all groups to intermarry, and many don’t look kindly on the black men who intermarry at nearly three times the rate that they do, according to a 2005 study of black intermarriage rates in the Wisconsin Law Review. Wrong reference. Don’t even go there.”Don’t even go there? Did homeboy add a two snap in the circle on the end of that?

MEGAN: I believe he did, along with the head roll.

LATOYA: Guuuuuuuuurl….

MEGAN: Also, I love how the subtext of that is “black women are racist” in addition to homophobic.

LATOYA: I told you we’re just a bunch of hating harpies. Weren’t you watching those two specials on blackness? Now, I can only remember the What About Our Daughters‘ site take on the two shows. They retitled them “Black Women, it sucks to be you” and “Black women, it doesn’t suck to be you, it just feels like it.” I’m personally hating the race based hand wringing over this one.

MEGAN: Well, if they had been titled that, viewership probably would have been higher.

LATOYA: Ha — true! But back to prop 8 — I just love how people were so quick to fall back on stereotypes to justify an end. It becomes one of those moments when you hear shit like “black women are against homosexual marriage” and I have to ask “and which black women are you talking to?”

MEGAN: What, black women aren’t a monolithic entity?

LATOYA: Oh right, I forgot. There’s just a whole lot of us “exceptions” who are counted separately. Bullshit.

MEGAN: You are not allowed to be different people for difference reasons! It’s too complex!

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  • NinaG

    I was so irked when I read Blow’s piece and then to see some black blogs try to give credence to all that bs. I don’t think he considered that (1) the Down Low discussion is tired and stigmatizing, (2) that black women are not all heterosexual, (3) that we do not suffer from all of the same social ills b/c we are immigrants and first generation americans, and (4) to use your words – we aren’t a bunch of haters. THANKS for this!!!! I thought I was going crazy when I saw that other people were actually agreeing with this dude.

  • I enjoyed that conversation. Funny and true. It is very ignorant to assume that Black women would be for Prop 8 because we can’t find a man. Stereotypes on top of stereotypes on top of stereotypes like one big stereotype clusterfuck. Makes me almost want to vomit.