For Apathy to the Game.

Football season started … recently … right? And it seems everyone I know is in love with The Game.

I’ve never gotten football. It’s interminable. It’s slow and boring most of the time, but, unlike baseball, it isn’t relaxing to watch. Unlike soccer, it isn’t particularly action-packed. Unlike rugby, folk aren’t getting their asses kicked nearly as hard. And with football, you have to remain perpetually tensed while watching, ready to spring out of your seat as the running…guy… does something … exciting.

I dunno.

I’ve asked friends and family why they watch it and all they can tell me is that it’s THE GREATEST GAME EVER.

Which, as we all know, is wrong, because baseball is the greatest game ever.

What’s the deal, fam?

Shani

Latest posts by Shani (see all)

  • Aisha

    The thing with football is that you have to pay a lot of attention to strategy. Why did he run this way instead of that way? Why are they lined up this way and not that way? In most every other sport you can use basic logic to figure out all of the “why “questions. Basketball, sooccer and rugby you get a change to soore nearly every 2 minutes so that’s much more exciting. Well at least these are the reasons I’ve found it hard to follow football. But here is a primer for you if you really want to know:

    http://theradleyfiles.wordpress.com/2008/08/20/football-for-females-a-101-of-sorts/

    http://theradleyfiles.wordpress.com/2008/08/22/football-102/

  • LH

    “Unlike soccer, it isn’t particularly action-packed.”

    I can’t understand how you could believe this.

  • Shani: Baseball games are four hours long, and the ‘action’ could be edited into 4 minutes. Turning a double play to close out the side in the third inning. a homer in the fifth. each important moment takes 8 seconds, tops.

    the rest is just scratchin’ and spittin’.

    LH: you beat me to it. i played soccer for years, and while it was a hell of a lot of fun to play, it was the opposite of fun to watch.

  • LH

    The opposite of fun sums it up, G.D. The only people who came to watch us play soccer were our parents and children who didn’t have a choice.

    But even high school football gets people hyped.

  • Aisha: thanks for those links. I’ll definitely check them out. I *want to* like football.

    G.D. and L.H.:

    Uh, no! I love watching soccer games. They’re fun and exciting. Football is waiting for something to happen, but without the relaxed atmosphere of baseball.

  • Soccer is boring. It’s a bunch of scrambling to watch goal attempts getting rejected. Just like watching baseball is a bunch of standing around watching foul balls and strikeouts for the occasional home run. Unless there’s a blowout, like yesterday’s Eagles game, football is constant strategy, incremental progress, timeclock pressure, praying for field goals… it’s fun. Especially if you pick a side.

  • Grump

    Shani, you’re missing this point with football. The waiting for something to happen. THAT ANTICIPATION for something big and monumental every play is the reason why alot of folks love the game. Any given down. Any given Sunday. Or Saturday. Or Friday. Something worthwhile can happen

  • quadmoniker

    I have to rush to Shani’s defense here, guys. The ENTIRE WORLD agrees with her that soccer is fun to watch, and only American – mostly the male half, with exceptions – think “football” is fun. I think you guys are bringing other things to it, your own histories with the game, memories of watching games as a kid, your knowledge of the players, etc.

    With that said: Shani, reject it. Don’t try to learn to like it. Football is the worst example of the outsized importance sports have on our country. Maintain your integrity!

  • Grump

    uH, QUAD…last I heard, no US government official has tortured (American rules)football players for losing a game.

  • QM: Thank you! Soccer is an international pastime, but Americans find it boring for some unfathomable reason. Plus, I suspect a lot of women try to like futball Americano to connect with the males in their lives.

  • QM/Shani: Since you two are such big soccer fans, you mind giving me your perspective on this last MLS season and what we can look forward next year?

    Thanks in advance.

    QM said: “I think you guys are bringing other things to it, your own histories with the game, memories of watching games as a kid, your knowledge of the players, etc.”

    Uh, isn’t that true of any sport? Those rabid Man-U fans in England just didn’t spontaneously become soccer fans. Sports is a cultural thing, obvs. And there’s no bigger sport in the U.S. than football; it’s not even close.

    re: your ‘outsized importance’ comment…i’d argue that sports actually plays a pretty important social role in most societies, and that America is no different.

  • quadmoniker

    G.D. Yes, it is true of any sport.

    Also, I never said I was a soccer fan. I was just chiming in that Shani has the world on her side.

    I think “sports” play an important role in the social fabric of any culture. But this much importance? This much money? These many public funds for sports going to academically floundering public schools across the country?

  • LH

    “QM/Shani: Since you two are such big soccer fans, you mind giving me your perspective on this last MLS season and what we can look forward next year?

    Thanks in advance.”

    This made me laugh aloud.

  • ladyfresshh

    as a non sports watcher
    hey is my reasoning

    baseball is fun to play not watch

    football is fun and easy to follow as well as soccer even if you know know he rules
    you definitely know when something big is happening last seasons superbowl would be a good example i don’t watch football but i was riveted

    and tennis is good to watch

    and really i do not know the rules to anything…but then again i was mesmerized by olympic speedwalking (how the hell do they move like that?)

  • “Unlike soccer, it isn’t particularly action-packed.”

    I can’t understand how you could believe this.

    Because it’s true?

  • LH

    Huh?

  • I used to be in high school and college band. Thus, I watched a lot of football games and quickly began to learn about the game. Sure, I’d played two-hand touch and flag football with my brother and new the gist of the game (get the ball in the endzone), I was still a bit confused. Once someone explained the first down, it all made a lot more sense. I do find football exciting, but I’m not all that excited about the NFL. I attribute that to the lack of a pro team in LA. I am in to college football, and follow my alma mater.

    As for other sports, I love baseball. I played as a kid and still follow the Dodgers closely. I know the games are slow moving, but I don’t mind. I can turn off the game and come back to it half an hour later and find that I haven’t missed much. Can’t do that much with basketball or football.

    Oh, as for soccer, I really only watch during the World Cup. And then it HAS to be on the Spanish-language networks. I watch more out of the excitement of the tournament than excitement over soccer.

  • I only follow the Reggae Boyz, G.D.

    LH, I thought your people preferred cricket. 😉

  • Big Word

    Football is alot like war another favorite American pastime.

    I love that game though. Although by God the Raiders sucked last night! There are college teams that play better than them.