(image from the Guardian)
(Crossposted From Bitch, Ph.D)
Remember the girls in Massachusetts who supposedly had a “pregnancy pact”?
By now everyone’s probably heard that the scandal has turned out to be bullshit. Quel surprise.
Anyone with half a brain suspected all along that the real deal was that some young women who were unintentionally pregnant decided, like actual responsible human beings!, to form a mutual support group. See, e.g., this article from Salon: What’s so wrong with a pregnancy pact? Because, duh, all parents need support, especially with young children; and single parents–mothers and fathers–need it a lot more than parents who are coupled up, what with not having a built-in support person right there in the house with them. So you know, if you’re single and pregnant and you know other people who are single and pregnant, forming a support group like that is a fucking brilliant–and highly responsible–thing to do.
In short, the actual news item isn’t TODAY’S TEENS ARE SO IRRESPONSIBLE OMG. Rather, it is PREGNANT WOMEN REALLY WANT TO DO THE BEST THING FOR THEMSELVES AND THEIR CHILDREN, EVEN WHEN THEY THEMSELVES ARE PRACTICALLY CHILDREN, AND IF YOU REMOVE THE STIGMA AND GIVE THEM SOME ACTUAL FUCKING SUPPORT IT HELPS A LOT.
But that doesn’t fit in a headline, and it doesn’t give people an opportunity to feel morally superior.
I used to live in a town that had a downtown center for parents. It provided parenting classes, had a toy library, had regular playgroups, information about child development, etc. Mr. B. and I both took PK there occasionally for playgroups while he was a preschooler. It also had specific programs for teenage pregnant girls and probably helped them figure out how to apply for assistance, etc.–I don’t know details because, duh, I wasn’t a teeenage pregnant girl.
But I do know that I used to see these pregnant young women hanging out downtown together, near the parenting center and the bus stop where I’d catch my bus. And that these young women would *hang out together*. And yeah, it was clear that a lot of them had a little bit of a chip on their shoulder, and that hanging out with each other helped them brave that feeling of looking pregnant and young in public. And that, seeing them, I always thought how damn glad I was that the center was there to support them and help them meet each other, so they had that mutual support.
Every freaking town should have something like that. Every pregnant woman should be able to make a “pact” with her peers to support each other.
Because god knows, society isn’t upholding any kind of social compact for most pregnant girls. They’re on their own. Good for the ones who are smart and lucky enough not to have to be.
