Back when the Monica Lewinsky scandal was dominating headlines and talk show monologues, Toni Morrison wrote a head-scratchingly bizarre piece for the New Yorker in which she called Bill Clinton the First Black President. Her rationale? “[Clinton] displays almost every trope of blackness: single-parent household, born poor, working-class, saxophone-playing, McDonald’s-and-junk-food-loving boy from Arkansas.”
We at PostBourgie thought to ourselves: why should literary giants get to have all the clumsy fun with simplistic racial characterization? So in homage to the esteemed Ms. Morrison, we’ll be periodically inducting public figures into our PostBourgie Pantheon of Negritude.
That our inaugural inductee is none other than the wife of the O.G. is sort of fitting. Since her conversation with America began, Hillary Clinton has been hopping around the country and whipping the asses of all comers, including that of a black man from the South Side of Chicago among black voters. She’s getting that good black love because she’s one of us.
But what really sealed it for us was Hillary’s refusal to tip her waitress during a campaign stop at an Iowa diner last month. Hillary and her handlers popped in at a Maid Rite diner to chat with the locals.
“So…what’s up with that tip, Senator?” waitress Anita Esterday asked audaciously.
Our girl Hillary didn’t miss a beat. “Here’s a tip for you, Anita. Wax that upper lip.”
“Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn!” campaign manager Patti Sollis Doyle said over the snickers of weary reporters watching the exchange. “That was gully!”
No, Patti. That’s BLACK.
According to the Washington Post, Esterday “stood there looking real stupid.”
Hillary Clinton: proudly, uncompromisingly and problematically BLACK.